


Abnormal Resting Position

by lemurstockings



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Guilt, Points of View, Romance, Train of Thought, Wishful Thinking, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 13:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8374222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemurstockings/pseuds/lemurstockings
Summary: Takes place during episode 4 of series 2.Alone together in the small hours of the morning in the hotel room, Ellie Miller and Alec Hardy have trouble putting their minds at ease.





	

_Did he sleep with Claire?_ Ellie thought, blinking into the darkness, staring at the speckled ceiling above them. _Did_ she _sleep with_ him _?_ If Ellie was going to be honest with herself, she knew Claire was more likely to be “doing” than Alec. Alec… he wasn’t the type to do that, she knew that now. She felt it in her stomach after he turned away.

“Go to sleep Miller.” He had said, dry disapproval stinging his words. He took in a breath, and rolled away from her. As he settled, he let out a nasal sigh. And now Ellie was left looking up at the ceiling, wishing she didn’t have to ask that; wishing her brain could just shut up about that point for 30 seconds. But it couldn’t. _She_ couldn’t- not internally. Ellie knew it was impossible for anyone to not think about anything, but she wished that she could think about something dull, something light; something that didn’t have to do with everything being so fucked up. Now she had the Sandbrook case to distract her, however stressful it still was. Ellie believed it was a good stress, the kind of stress that pushed her forward. But she also knew it was still stress; something that compounded that force against her frontal lobe, begging for a hole to be bored through her skull to relieve the pressure.

Ellie turned her head just slightly to the side, pushing her peripherals to see the alarm clock next to her. The sockets of her eyes ached as she strained to see the time. Aching because of having to drive Hardy up and down the motorway for hours; because of how much she’d been rubbing them. Reluctant to disturb Hardy any more than she already was, she shifted over to see any part of the end table next to her. There was no clock. Ellie let out a quiet sigh and stared into the dark, not knowing the time, next to the man she’d been accused of having an affair with in front of too many people in a court of law. The defense was desperate and pathetic, and so was she. She didn’t have sex with Hardy that night, or ever, but she felt this small, creeping part of herself start to think that maybe… maybe something could happen. She was lonely after _he_ had ruined, _destroyed_ everything. Alec, however much she hated to say it, was growing on her. They had their arguments, but that was because he was an idiot, she was strong, and they both always believed they were right.

 _Joe could be like that._ Ellie caught herself thinking, _Not as bad, not as- stupidly brilliant, but he could be an endearing, rough-edged, idiot._ But Ellie didn’t want to be comparing Hardy to that monster. Alec Hardy, the man sleeping on top of the covers next to her, is a far better man than Joe ever was. He gave up so much for others. He was always doing what he could to help those he felt for, even if it meant putting himself in the line of fire. He was so thick. So amazingly thick.

Giving a small huff of a laugh, Ellie shook her head slightly. What was she thinking? She teased her fingertips against the cheap hotel linens absentmindedly, her mind was giving into the soft mush of romantic fantasy. Absolute bollocks. How old was she? 36? And she was thinking about this mush? She was being childish, and honestly… Ellie thought it to be a nice change of pace- however inappropriate.

Before drifting off into sleep, Ellie’s mind wandered and wondered, not just about Alec, but about silly things in general. Where would she go if she could go anywhere? If she could have anything as a pet what would it be? If she could go back in time… no- bad question to ask. In time, the day’s fatigue drew Ellie into the mattress. In this abnormal resting position, Ellie Miller fell asleep at 3:32 AM, thinking about being able to read other people’s minds at will.

* * *

 

 

“Go to sleep, Miller.” Hardy mumbled, turning away from her. He remembered Claire’s eyes, looking into his. He tried closing his eyes, to look into the memory deeper, to maybe find the source of Claire’s lies. Alec Hardy wasn’t used to accusations of sexual misconduct being thrust upon _him,_ and that day too many aspersions had been cast in his direction.

Alec looked out the window of the hotel room, out to the motorway and the cars that passed by every couple of seconds, steady as his breaths. He felt Miller shift beside him slightly, and couldn’t decide how to feel. It had been so long since he’d slept beside anyone, and that comfortable place felt so distant. He wasn’t comfortable now. Not with the nerves of the trial running up his spine, not on top of the covers in his suit, not next to a woman who all these accusations ran through.

He heard Miller sigh gently, and his last thought melted away. He knew how he wanted to feel, he did. He wasn’t sure if he could be strong enough to feel that way. He’d tried to be strong, but that underlying guilt was stronger. Too much at stake for emotions at this point, he had to stay cold, even though he was melting. He’d tried to stay distant, but then circumstances pushed his heart forwards and he had been at a loss since then. He didn’t want to cross boundaries, but today he found out that even just with solitude and support they could be misconstrued. Never mind anyone witnessing a hug, just them together was enough for gossip in Broadchurch. And Ellie seemed just so at home with that, or at least she was before it was suddenly about her and was more than just a bit of “fun”. Hardy was tired of petty gossip tearing people apart, truly and honestly tired. If the trial went to pieces because of him trying to be there for her…

Then, Miller laughed. Ever so slightly, ever so quietly, a laugh. Alec kept perfectly still, not wanting to let on that he’d heard it. It was the first he’d heard such an honest laugh, in such a long while. He could scarcely believe it came from a woman who had been through so much. Hardy furrowed his brow, concentrating his senses on any more sounds from Miller. He felt the slight tugging of the sheets underneath him, these threads that separated but still kept them together.

What made her laugh? Was it her reminiscing? What about? She wouldn’t have laughed about Joe, surely not. Was it something _he_ had said? Alec tried to think of anything he’d said recently that might make Miller laugh, but when he looked back, none of her responses seemed like they were comedic in nature. Was she laughing _at_ him? Alec’s face relaxed, looked back to the motorway. Yes, that was probably more likely. He let his eyes close and tried not to picture anything, but now all he could see was her smile, and it drove him mad. He couldn’t be so selfish.

He opened his eyes again, staring into the darkness and having the odd set of car lights flash across him. He waited until his thoughts would settle, willing them into order. Eventually, he heard Ellie start to snore, softly. Alec sighed, and turned over to look at her. She was facing away from him. He reached out his hand to her shoulder, and his thumb gently started to soothe the ripples in the fabric of her pajamas.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

At 4:14 AM, Alec Hardy fell asleep. He dreamed of having a family again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've had the first part of this kicking around in my computer for a long while. Now with the 3rd series coming up somewhat soon, I revisited the series and my otp <3
> 
> I really like exploring the honest feelings these two have, and the boundaries they have to wrestle with. In the future I'd like to take it a bit further.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment or some kudos :)


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